Pretend You're Normal

"Pretend you're normal!" I used to say to my kids often. When they were little, and driving me a bit more batty than I could take at the moment. Or when we were being goofy and needed to straighten up right away  for whatever door we were about to walk through. I wonder if they remember being told so often to pretend to be normal.

A few weeks ago my doctor told me to quit apologizing for who I am. Then she clarified, because she had to, that I needed to quit apologizing to myself for who I am. Since then, I have seen quite a few messages in my day-to-day life which remind me of what she said. They remind me I need to accept who I am, and how I am. Then I watched the finale and the reunion show for Survivor and I saw Cochran was going through the same thing. Embracing who he is instead of being ashamed of it. Instead of being afraid of judgement for being who he was, which, ironically, made him who he is now, which is different. Somehow letting go of the fear of judgement makes us able to be our pure selves. It's not just animals who can smell fear.

Yesterday, while out shopping at Home Goods, I saw this sign. So many thoughts ran though my head:

• I can make that sign myself. 
• The one I make will not look good enough, I should buy this one
• realization of the ridiculousness of the sentiment of the sign vs. my previous thought
• Remembering, after Victoria died, saying to someone "I'm just going to offer myself and my friendship. Here I am with all my flaws, loving you"
• Remembering my cousin's response to me saying this

And now, remembering how I always thought Victoria's middle name should have been Grace, because she was full of it.  And how when I first met her and asked her about her beliefs she told me "I'm saved by grace"

Yes, now this sign is on my ever-growing list of things I am going to make myself. It will not be perfect. It will make me perfectly happy.

There are still times when I contend it is good to pretend your are normal. But we should all learn to embrace what makes us who we are. Maybe I need to blast "Take Me As I am" from some speakers today, as a reminder to embrace myself. (Nod to young punk #4)