Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Filling In The Holes

     I follow a lot of blogs on facebook. I do it mainly for them, because they want followers. There are a handful of blogs I actually allow to show in my facebook feed. Those are the blogs I want to make sure I do not miss. They are people who create something I find beautiful every time. Every single one of these women fills a hole in my heart I did not even know existed. 

     It could be the way Ilene makes me feel as if we've been the best of friends since third grade.

      Or, it could be the way every single one of Tamara's photos touches my heart. Also, read her "How I Met Your Father" story. The girl can convey anything. 

     My friend Carolyn and her mixture of sweet and sassy is always fun. She's like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. 

     Then there is Sarah, who can do anything. She has both great ideas and execution.  

     Marion can move mountains in her home. She even has her own paint (and more) line now! 

     If you want to read a blog where you laugh the whole time and totally relate you can't miss Victoria

     Katbiggie, also. She started this, which is very close to my own feelings. 

     There are sometimes blogs I did not get to know well, but still get on the facebook feeds because they touch me somehow. I wait and see what they do. Yesterday, one of the wait and see bloggers, Franchesca, wrote this. And if you know me at all, you know it spoke to my heart. Deeply. What else she did, though, was even more magical. She linked to this piece Ann wrote. It's the best thing I have read in a long, long time. There were tears. Then, through a cracking voice, I read some of it to my husband. I'll give some of it to you, but really, go read the whole thing.

We married wrong.
Don’t buy what anybody else is selling:  Everyone always marry wrong.
Because what’s wrong in the world is always us.
Marriage and love and time, these are the enormous forces that inevitably chisel and change us into strangers. The springs sag. Mattresses sigh. Marriage changes us into strangers who have to meet again and introduce each other to love.

     I'm not even saying this is the best part.  It's a part.

     I've been a little melancholy lately. Some people would blame the dark days of winter, or the bitter cold, or the epic amount of snow we have had, but I am not convinced it has anything to do with winter weather. I think it's more to do with migraines and low thyroid and just needing some quiet time. I grew up an only child. Maybe it has something to do with the need for solitude? My mom had five siblings and she has always needed her time alone. My grandmother is the same. Maybe it's built into our DNA, the need to be undisturbed. I need to be able to sit and not have anyone bump the table, bed, or chair. With five kids, a husband, and two little dogs sometimes just sitting undisturbed is an impossible thing. 

     Another thing I have been lately is grateful. I feel like prayers have been heard and answered. God always sends me answers in two. Two people at the door, two people on the phone... it's pairs of people he sends to show me he has not forsaken me. He has not forsaken my family. He's heard me and said everything is going to be alright. Not perfect or easy, no.  

     One thing has happened by way more than twos this year. The people I have found online, who I can really relate to? They have come pouring in at warp speed. People who I feel belong in my life. Bloggers who still blog to tell a story. Whether it's about a DIY project they did or something magical they did for their children, or a trip they took, they have shared their heart and I have enjoyed it. 

     Thank you for being great, thanks for caring. Thanks for reading. If you leave a comment, a million thanks. Like Erin said on twitter once: "Whenever I have zero comments and then I get one... I kind of want to make that first commenter cupcakes or something."



  1. Can I have cupcakes?
    But you knew I'd comment anyway, and find my way here.
    I grew up as one of five and I ache for solitude, but not always. And even when I'm alone, what do I do? I read many of these same blogs you speak so beautifully about. So what does that really say about me? I don't know - I'm no psychologist!
    Anyway, I'm glad I was poured into your life, and you into mine.
    I feel like we both have many stories to tell, and many still to unfold.

  2. I just hopped over to read Ann's piece on marriage and am crying like a mutha. I want that one day.
    And thank you for the mention. I remember when we first "met" and how you knew me immediately. And how that allowed me to know you. And there's no turning back now. xo

  3. I am like you, I have a few blogs that I really love to follow and love to have in my FB feed, its so great when you come across someone who has lots of inspiration, great ideas and positive thoughts to share that benefit and uplift my life.

  4. So, I popped over here bc of BYB and since you were so sweet to comment on my blog and I have loved the randomness and honesty and this post was just so precious.
    Like you, I crave solitude. I literally have to work it into my schedule or I will come completely unglued.
    Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your thoughts. Blessings!!