I chose a sad secret this week. I always hope the sad ones are a lie, but I know better than to believe the fantasy I try to feed myself.
"My husband beats me. When people ask about the bruises I tell them that I take kick-boxing. They are nice and pretend to believe me."
Note to 'friends': Don't pretend to believe your friend when what they really need is your help. It's not so nice.
If this is happening to you (or any kind of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse) then you need to contact your local battered women's shelter.
Before you say "No, no, not me, I can't go stay at the BWS" let me tell you something else:
They are not going to pressure you to stay with them. They don't have an infinite amount of money to spend on people, so they're quite willing to help women who don't stay there. They help you get a protection order. They offer you things like food and toiletries. They can send an advocate to court with you. They might find you an attorney who will help you at a reduced cost, or even free.
Before discounting their help, just call and talk to them and see what they can do for you. When so much else hurts, it can't hurt to give them a try. The worst that can happen is you hang up the phone no better off than you were before you called.
Please, ask for help.