Stuff My Daughter Shares

One of my kids likes to take to Twitter with the things I say and do. Here are some of her tweets which are either quotes (of things I mostly do not remember saying) or observances. 

Gummy Bears are my homeboys

Upon leaving my great grandma's house "oh... People are starting to look a little bit old." She turned 87 today.

Synergy is the YOLO of the business world.

"Wait I just need to drink the rest of these Pringles" 

Me: "I just lied to somebody." 

Mom: "good job Allie."

Mom watching #RHONY:What I like is they can really teach U howto be a f*ing lady @CountessLuAnn @AvivaDrescher @iamHeatherT @CaroleRadziwill

"I almost came to the table without pants on. But then I remembered, we're eating dinner, not breakfast."

When you ask my mom for something she doesn't want to give/do, she'll say "What. I'm not your mom!" oh the absence of perks in adulthood..

Two weeks to get a car. Negative Nancy says this won't be easy.  (Pretty sure this was about me, too. Though I have no proof and did not ask)

I'm shameless, in that my actions do not require or result in shame. #mymomsaysso

Xmas was a success #loveit witnessed my mom turn into #Oprah as she exclaimed "YOU get a bedroom! &YOU get a bedroom &YOU &YOU!" #newhouse

my mom left the kitchen, i followed her very closely asking 'does it bug you when people always follow you around the house like this? 

My mother is a both a comedian and a genius She has me cracking up all the day. #bestmomever #winning

I'll end on a high note! 

Overheard This Week:

While at the mall, shopping for a dress to wear to graduation, Allison brings me a dress I find hideous. 

Me: No.

Allison: Why not?

Me: I don't like it.

Allison: It's good!

Me: No.

Allison: Grunts then asks: What's wrong with it?

Me: It looks like I lost at paintball in it.

Allison: You don't even know what paintball is!

Food Pyramid

Allison got a blog! I borrowed this food pyramid from her. (No idea where she got it)

Vivid Dream

Back story: I've been sick for two weeks. Yesterday Zack was starting to get 'the cough'. I dropped him off at school with DayQuil, just in case. Yesterday his friend Clay came over after school. They played Yu-Gi-Oh and ate fried tacos. He seemed okay later, too,  when he was watching television. This morning, however, he did not get up for school. (I ought to let you know he's a senior in high school - not an 8 year old boy. He gets up on his own)

So a few minutes ago I went upstairs to check on him. Poor thing must feel awful. Here is how it went:

Me: Zacky, you okay?

Zack: Yeah. (sort of deflated, but with that twinkle in his eye)

Me: Well, why didn't you go to school this morning?

Zach: I had a vivid dream that it was a snow day. So I went back to sleep. Then Katie texted me and was all "Where ARE you?" and I was d'oh!

I just stood there, slackjawed...

I was not going to be one of those mothers. You know, the ones whose sons charm them with nonsense and they just think it's so cute/adorable/funny/wonderful.

Sigh