I turned my head and I saw her. This young girl, with her date, were standing right in front of me. And she looked so much like Victoria my head started spinning. She was looking at me, too, and I smiled at her. But I felt a little... uncomfortable? nostalgic? sad? thrilled? All of those things? She smiled back, and oh my gosh she tilted her head at me in that way that only Victoria did. I looked away because I needed to find my composure. Thankfully, in just a few short seconds, my husband was back from his trip to the bar. Unlike all the other strangers that night, the girl and her date had not dissolved to be replaced by new strangers. I look from her to Luis and he agreed. You know that language you have with people who get you? How you can say more by looking at things than with words? Then he said "Except her eyes are bluer." Which is true since Victoria's eyes, they were hazel.
The girl was so close to us and she was looking at us again. Or still. So I told her "You remind us very much of someone we love." And then I thought I was going to lose it. Because she gave me a sheepish smile and there went the last little bit of my composure. I had to turn around to the miraculously empty wall space behind me. My husband was able to quickly bring the conversation somewhere else.
I can't even see my screen as I type this right now because there's all this liquid between my eyeballs and the computer screen. I can hardly breathe. People say it gets easier. In some ways it does. In other ways, though, it never changes. And, son-of-a-gun you never know when it's going to happen. Can't plan for it, brace for it, resolve against it, it just happens. Seeing that girl made me feel so much joy - and so much pain. In the middle of a perfect night, one of my favorite events in my life, there she was. So I am going to say it was no accident, me seeing her Saturday night.