Friday, August 24, 2012

New Laws I Would Enact Given Just a Lick of Power

     As you drive into a car dealership to actually purchase a car there would have to be a little window where they take your order. Because you will be there when it is time for your next meal. Even if you already talked to the dudes who you already bought a car from just last month and you have it narrowed down to two cars. Because car salesmen are trying to put you on an involuntary diet.

     I am reminded of this because I just took my mother to buy her car on Tuesday. After buying a car from the same guy/s last month for our family, I thought I could make it fairly painless. I called the car salesman. We'll call him "Chris" because that's his real name. What does he need protection from? My involuntary diet class action lawsuit? Maybe. Would anyone like to flesh this out with me?

     I told him we wanted Cary Y. He asked why we didn't want car X if we were interested in car Y. We agreed he would have both cars ready for us the next morning.

     On the way to the dealership we made a pit stop. During our stop I told my mother I thought we should buy some amazing snacks- the kind that make people jealous of your snack. My plan was each time someone got up from a desk or otherwise left us unattended we would rip into another delicious snack food item. I don't know why she looked at me the way she did. I could tell she wasn't on board. (This is why I'm not giving her first dibs on the class action lawsuit, she just doesn't know a great idea when she hears one.)

     Several hours into our car buying ordeal we were both hungry, thirsty, and because we were right beneath an air conditioning blaster, freezing. Chris actually asked us if we wanted him to order a pizza,  but when I hastily agreed he didn't make a move for a phone, so I guess he was joking. Probably because he heard our stomachs growl. Who knows? When he left again I reminded my mother we could have been having jealousy-inducing snacks. When we finally got out of there and I got home I told my husband I was starving and  fell exhausted into a heap on my bed. It was pathetic. 

     When my new law is passed we will not starve in car dealerships ever again.

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