Thursday, March 21, 2013

Ten Things I Do Not Know How To Do

     I am always trying to learn new things. I feel like there are so many interesting things in the world I have never even heard of yet that I'll never get to knows all the cool stuff. This fact bothers me a little bit, if I am being honest. Like today, for example. TED talks are happening in Cleveland. But when did I learn about it? Today! And when did the tickets sell out? 21 minutes after they went on sale, on a day long before today.

     There are lots of things I have done/can do which surprise people. But there is plenty I do not know how to do.  For example:

1. I do not know how to speak Spanish. Even though I have lived in Texas, California, and Venezuela, I'm pretty much an English-only kind of girl. It's embarrassing. I mistake more words than I get right, which is even more embarrassing. "Why are you calling that a 'kitchen'?" I ask my husband. "It means pig" he replies. 

2. I do not know how to write a resume. You would think this shouldn't matter to me. I am not employed. But maybe some days I wish I was. Or maybe I wish I could be if I wanted to be. 

3. I do not know how to drive a stick shift. I've driven tractors. Does that count at all?

4. I do not know how to shut up. Seriously. I tell myself I will. Then I don't. Ever.

5. I do not know how to ask for what I want without feeling guilty. From trivial things like "Would you fill up my water bottle for me when you go downstairs?" to "Could we go see Leonard Cohen in concert?" I feel guilty as hell if I ask. 

6.  I don't know how to grow old gracefully. When I notice things I used to without thinking about them are now physically straining or overwhelming for me I sort of lose my mind.

7. I don't know how to parent my 'grown' children. They still seem so vulnerable to me. I really want to make them take naps and then later we will make cookies and watch Joe Scruggs videos and go to Chuck E Cheese. 

8. I don't know how to be a better person. I promise myself I will have more internal patience. I will change my inner dialogue. But then the same things that bugged me all my life happen and (surprise!) they still bug me. My inner dialogue doesn't change. I still feel guilty about it. 

9. I don't know how to make myself finish things.

Mama’s Losin’ It


  1. You CERTAINLY know how to make people laugh. And now I'm thinking . . . "Hey, I don't know how to do that either!"

  2. I don't speak Spanish, either. I have even taken classes!

  3. Can't do the stick shift, either. And definitely can't shut up. Loudmouths, unite!

  4. I am glad I was not taking a big drink of liquid when I got to the end. #9 on your top ten list is the best! Made me laugh so hard.

  5. Co-sign on asking for things! I can't. I'd have to be on the edge to ask for help. I get chastised by my boyfriend for it all the time! My mom always taught me growing up to do it all myself and it's hard to let it go!

  6. Terrific! What a clever list. When I saw this prompt I felt overwhelmed by how many things I don't know how to do that I got dizzy.

    Re: #3. I've tried. Oh boy, did I try to learn how to drive a stick shift. But it just didn't work. (I shudder at the memory!)

    Thank you so much for stopping by! I truly enjoy your posts :->


  7. Driving tractors totally counts!

    And I think all the other things just shows that in life we are always learning and trying to improve.

  8. How funny!!! We almost have the same list! Thank you for stopping by my blog :). I m taking a break from school work (a 2 hr break!) to blog some more. LOL! I am now a new fan :)

    The Wondering Brain