I Can't Understand

Today I waited in the parking deck. I chose an unpopular area facing outward so I would be as secluded as possible. There was a song on the radio. It doesn't even matter which one, does it? Anyway... I started to cry the crazy cry. The tears and sobs just didn't stop coming. I was just sitting there, in my blurry Saturday morning private escape, making deals with God he refused to acknowledge. Sounds like the work of a crazy lady, doesn't it?

Someone broke into my world. A little black car drove up beside me. I finally looked at it, something I feel compelled to do when someone parks next to me. The driver looked shocked when she saw my puffy, red, tear streaked face. She rolled down her window. I rolled down mine. "Is it VJ?" she asked. I nodded.

Did you send her? I needed the reminder to be thankful for all the blessings I still have. It didn't break my sadness though. It clings to me today in a desperate embrace.

Betsy McCall Will Be Your Doll

Lots of people enjoy doing the fun things they did as children. If there are children around and you can pretend it's for them, even better! Who remembers paper dolls? I do! If you don't, maybe you should go ask someone who Eddie Haskell is.

So, I found this website with ten years worth of Betsy McCall paper doll pages. They are cute and fun and you can print them right at home. Some of you clever gals may even decide to use them in frames and whatnot to decorate a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, or dollhouse. Maybe you will plaster them to the side of your car. Or your face! Okay, yeah. So have fun with these.

1,000 Tiny Little Kisses

Yesterday when the snow landed all over my face I accepted it as a thousand little kisses. For some reason yesterday, things were okay. It felt so good. I could feel happy without feeling bitterness creep in. Don't mistake this for lack of sadness. I am still the most disappointed I have ever been in my life. Somehow yesterday I managed to embrace the good without repercussion.

Your mom is so great, but you already knew it. When I told my mom yesterday about how she is still hosting the party after the dance we shared our celebration of what a one of a kind family you have. I know it will be good for your mom to host and she is bringing comfort to so many of us by accepting us/our children into her world like she has always done. I have been learning where you learned to be such an organically loving person. Wow - what a family. I wish I had learned this much about them under different circumstances. I'm learning to move my own feelings of inadequacy out of the way so I can reach out to people more. I'm thinking less about how they will measure me and find me failing and more about what I can do for them or with them.

Tonight I will take as many kids as I can fit in my van to dinner, then to the dance. After the dance the cool kids are going to your house. When the party is over the guys are all spending the night together again.

P.S. More cupcake treats for your house tonight, with a few Oreo type thrown in.

P.P.S. We got fifteen inches of snow last night! The Snowball will be snowy this year.

Ice, Ice, Baby

     Auntie Kitten is at it again, kiddies! A little back story to start: One time we were at Great Wolf Lodge and some toilets were having issues. The maintenance crew brought giant buckets of ice and flushed them down the toilets, clearing the lines. It was icy magic, I tell ya'!

     Fast forward to today at my house. The toilet seemed a little hesitant to do its' thing. I remembered the ice lesson and poured a lot of ice into my toilet. Guess what? I had a toilet FULL of water and ice. I know you're wondering what I did next. I did what any logical person would do. I flushed it. Then I stood there saying "Oh noooooo. Oh noooooo. Lather, rinse, repeat a couple of times. My husband and son were of very little help. They were kind enough to laugh at me and tell their friends, respectively. I poured hot water in the toilet. Three times. It just welded the ice together.

     I offered to make ice cream in there, but sadly, I had no takers. Weirdos.

I Got Nothin'

It has been one month plus one day. It feels fresh every day. It feels like forever. It hurts and it doesn't seem to be getting 'better'. Sure, there are moments when I think about the wonderful things and they fill me with warmth and even laughter. The problem is even the warmth turns cold and when the laughter fades away the blinding, stinging pain is still right there with me. I do not know what to do.

Now two days because I sat staring at this last night, but did not post it. I am slowly giving up on wishing for this to all be a dream because I have never had a dream last this long before. But if I could wake up and find this was a terrible dream of some kind, I would be thrilled.

Friends and Angels

Suck: You are gone.

Rock: You left behind a bunch of great people to hold up one another.

We're all trying our best, but you didn't make this easy, did you?

Victoria Mackenzie Jackson, You Doll

     Wow. I have no idea where to start. I love you. I miss you. I am so glad we went to see "She Loves Me" at the same time. I am glad we got to share a hug and our sentiments. I wish you had not left us so soon, I had big plans for us, starting with more hot fudge cakes and continuing into sharing your babies with you and watching them grow up. I still hope God sends me a grandchild just like you. I am allowed to hope for anything I want.

     Thank you for being a part of our family, for teaching us so much, for not judging my terrible singing voice, for calling me mom, and my mother grandma, for sharing your wonderful parents and punky little brother with us, for always making me feel like you love me, for always letting me love you like my own third daughter, for throwing that wheat penny at me, for sending huge beautiful snowflakes at just the right time, for enjoying mini cupcakes, for sharing bags of mints from Abuelos, joining our family at Great Wolf Lodge, being a witness to Zachary, and your enthusiasm for everything.

Exploiting the Recession, or Exploiting the Public?

     You learn something new every day, or so they say. Here's today's lesson, from me to you:

     You've seen this everywhere, I'm sure. They want to share the 'trick' a mom figured out for whiter teeth. Don't pay hundreds, even thousands, just use this simple trick. Strawberries and baking soda? No. Scam-o-rama? I think so.

     They tell you to go to http://www.karensteeth.com/  and check out the news. They make the page look like an official news site. "Consumer News Weekly" it reads across the top. They use every trick in their arsenal to make it look like it is a news site, or at least a helpful, newsy blog.  They tell you how you can even get the shipping for almost free. A mere 99 cents a site. Of course there are two sites because this  mom learned to use both products together for some unexpectedly great results. Just order both trial products with coupon codes for 99 cent shipping and you're in!

     You're in alright. In a trap. They will send you the free trial stuff, but you have to cancel within 10 days of ordering the product. How many days does it take to arrive? We shall see. Yes, I ordered it. As soon as I ordered (with a 'special' credit card number they can't abuse) I called them to cancel my order. They refused. I will have to receive the product and then call them. Then I will have to return it. This was pretty much what I expected. I ordered it 15 minutes ago. I just got a call from a lady verifying my order. I told her I had already called to cancel and had been refused. She said "Oh, some of them do that. They make you receive it and return it." Now, mind you, there are two such offers. Each offer is for a free trial. Each offer will bill you what will be hundreds of dollars if you do not cancel. If you are lucky, one of them will renew it and ship out the product to you at timely intervals!

     There is no mention of this on the http://www.karensteeth.com/ website. A real blogger would have told you all about the return/subscription portion of the deal and how to avoid it.

     Not surprisingly the comments are closed due to "spam".  I'm pretty sure that was a typo and the comments are closed because it's a scam. The referral links to this page are laced with special tracking so the 'right people' get credit for sending you.

Updates coming soon. We'll see how they behave when I call them again. Poor girl, she sounded ashamed of doing her job. It's no wonder. I bet their employee turnover is high.

Slanket/Snuggie Update #1

     Here it is! To quote my mother on Facebook:

 Water damaged polaroid but proof, none the less, that you did indeed begin wearing robes backward by the time you were 19 months old!

     Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you that I did indeed deserve the Slanket/Snuggie patent.

Something Wonderful Has Happened!

     Since circa 1998 I have been without my trusty 9x9" glass baking dish. I took it to my Aunt Bonnie's house one time for a family gathering. I took it there and baked my used-to-be-famous hot fudge pudding cake in it. When I got it back a couple of weeks later it had shrunk to 8x8". I didn't even realize this until I made another hot fudge cake and it spilled out all over my oven. I asked about my 9x9" pan but was told it did not exist. Someone in my family has it, they must. 

     I have been looking to purchase another 9x9 pan all these years. Scouring the internet, factory outlet stores, discount stores, department stores, specialty stores. No luck. 

     Yesterday I was just minding my own business in JCPenney and what did I spy? A 9x9 ceramic baking dish! Close enough, pal! I can make my soon-to-be-famous-again hot fudge pudding cake again.

      It's a Christmas Miracle!

Snuggie/Slanket Tutorial

People, Auntie Kitten is disappointed in some of you. I really hate to be the one to bring a burgeoning industry to it's knees, but... seriously? A Snuggie/Slanket is pretty much wearing your robe backwards. I've been doing this for years. God knows I wish I had been the one to realize millions of people are not clever enough to realize this and capitalize on the dim-wittedness. I curse myself, really. Just not as much as I laugh at the millions of people who want a Snuggie/Slanket.

If you buy this - it's your own darn fault! Also, there's this bridge I want to sell you.

Don't say Auntie Kitten didn't warn you.

Why Yes, Yes We Are Spoiled - Northeast Ohio Edition

      How many things can we possibly take for granted? Here's another one for me and my lucky neighbors. Our local grocer, Buehler's, offers quite a few services. There's a Kid's Park, for ages 3-9, where you can drop off your littles while you grocery shop. In fact, since there's an Ace Hardware in Buehlers, you can even get paint mixed while your kids are happily  playing away. There is also a Kids Club, which is totally free. Each time you take the children to the store with you they get a special treat, which changes with the month. This month it is a trial size tube of Crest.

     Enough about the kids. Buehler's also has a nice little restaurant in the store. And a bank. And a dry cleaner. Oh, and a post office. Plus, you can drop off your library books at Buehler's. They also have an award winning florist. Carry out? Well, not really. At Buehler's you aren't allowed to take a cart outside. Because they send your groceries out on a conveyor belt and you simply drive up to the pick up lanes and they load them in the car.

     Oh, they also have something called "Click, Load, and Go." Are you ready to be jealous? You simply go online and order your groceries, telling them when you want to pick them up. Then you drive up to the pick up lane designated for Click Load & Go and just pick them up. How nice is that? Don't want to drag yourself inside and pick up everything, lug it up to the checkout and plop it on the counter only to take it home and carry it in and put it away? You don't have to - you can drive up to the store in your pajamas and get all your groceries. You still have to take it inside and put it away, but I guess that is to keep you humble.

Sending Out An S.O.S.

   While I readily admit that "Sending out an S.O.S. is a bit dramatic, what I really want is to "Save The Date" and a post titled "Sending out an S.T.D." seemed like it might garner the wrong sort of attention. 

   You see, a while back I decided to remove the dates from my blog posts. I can not remember why this seemed like a good idea at the time. Now I want to put them back, but I can't find the place to flip the switch. If anyone could be of help I would appreciate it.

All My Problems Are Solved!

Hooray! All of my problems are solved! Remember how I told you about the Gucci sunglasses problems I was having? I got really brave and commissioned someone to put coke bottles my prescription in them! I decided to do it and then order new ones online for the plain sunglasses. When I went to the site to order them I realized it is now a dead site. You can browse, but you can't buy. Somewhere in there is a 'Hotel California' reference just waiting to be made. You do it, I'm exhausted.

P.S. If you think the dead site issue is a problem, you are wrong. Because I just told you all my problems are solved.

My Blog Spark?

**Updated at the bottom. Twice.**

This morning I was just sitting here minding my own business, which I hardly ever always do. I was reading my emails and came across an email from My Blog Spark saying everyone has to sign the new Terms & Conditions.

I was reading through them (my husband will be so proud) and I saw this:

"If you conduct any sort of giveaway of these items to your readers or others, you agree to do so responsibly and lawfully and you agree that you will be responsible for any resulting liabilities, injuries, losses, or claims, including without limitation, injuries to (or harm suffered by) yourself or others."

*Highlights, bold, italics are put there by me.

DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!

*Who amongst the bloggers can afford to take on the liability the manufacturer alone should carry? Not I, said this blogger.

*Seriously, I need an answer to this question so I know who can take me out on their yacht. Leave this information in the comments or email me a.s.a.p.!


Update:

I just now got this email from Melissa at My Blog Spark:

Hi Tammi,

We understand that you have some concerns regarding the updated terms and conditions and want to clarify one very important point regarding liability. Please note that MyBlogSpark members are NOT liable when prizes are sent to your contest winners directly by MyBlogSpark . If there is ever an issue regarding a prize fulfilled by MyBlogSpark, you are not liable.

You are only liable if someone is injured because you failed to properly prepare or store the product samples or warn of allergens from product/prizes we send directly to you and you send directly to others.

We hope this clears up any issues pertaining to the terms and conditions and please let us know if you have any additional questions or concerns.

Best Regards,

Melissa

Kudos to My Blog Spark for responding. I'm pretty darn glad to hear this. However, I did let them know I think the language in the first quote I gave needs to be fixed to remove unnecessary risk from the shoulders of bloggers. Better to be redundant than open to risk, right?

Wow - I'm impressed. Sometimes when the little guy points out a risk, they are heard. Here's Melissa's response to my thoughts, sent to me via email again:

Hi Tammi,

I’m a mom blogger myself, so I totally understand where you’re coming from. I agree that the wording could be misinterpreted and we just sent an email out to the entire network that I hope clarifies the issue and eases the concerns. We would love it if you would reconsider and remain a member of the network. I can have the terms and agreements resent to you if you’d like.

Thanks again,

Melissa

Next week: Getting husbands to listen. No, just kidding. That will never happen. Unless you are saying something you don't want them to hear. They are listening then.

Lost and Found

Happy day!

Lost: My mind

When a certain unnamed credit card company bought my ten year old account in great standing they immediately closed it. Never a call or letter to tell us, either. Just closed it. We went to buy a plane ticket and it wouldn't process. These glitches happen. We thought nothing of it and just paid a different way. Then we went to make another purchase and it didn't process again. We kept trying, checking online to be certain there was nothing wrong with the account. There was no unusual activity, the account still showed we had the available credit. We paid a different way and then called this bank. "Your account has been closed." You should be getting a letter shortly. Two weeks later, sure enough, the letter arrived. This was the big card we carried. Incidentally, they also increased our interest rate - to 31.99%!!!

It super-sucked because then the other accounts we had saw BigBank had closed our account. Domino effect, big time. We like rewards, so I usually dump most of every paycheck into an account which earns us great rewards. I dumped in the money and got a letter in the mail the same day. Due to your ratio of debt to available credit blah blah blah... they lowered our credit limit. This was an "Oh crap!" moment for me because I needed to pay my bills with the money I just dropped on that rewards account. Things were spiraling out of control.

Why do things never spiral into control?

Yesterday I got a letter from BigBank offering me a 'deal'. I worked some numbers and called today with a goal in mind. I talked to a guy who was apparently screening the callers for this deal. After several minutes he put me through to Lisa, who asked a few questions and came up with a number and a deal even better than the one I was hoping for when I called! Hello 6% interest! We just saved a ton of money.

The moral of the story is this: Hey! my stories never have morals to them. What are you doing hanging around here waiting for one this time? If there is a moral to the story this time it is "It can't hurt to ask."

Helpful hint: Make them give you a number. They asked me what payment I wanted. Had I answered I think they would have taken it. I would be paying more than I am now if I had named given my numbers.

At no point in this or any other blog post will I actually say I found my mind. My mind is much more settled than it was yesterday.

Found: Money

Weirdo Wednesday

Yes, "Weirdo Wednesday." Because it feels comfortable like an old shoe. Although, truth be told, my old shoes are never comfortable. So scratch that. It feels familiar. Like an old, somewhat uncomfortable shoe.

Anyway... I'm still trying to find the sunglasses I want. Impossible. I mean, possible, but not from any place who will sell them to me as prescription sunglasses. If I am ever an eye doctor and you find what you want online? I will go to the website where you found it, get the frames you want, and put prescription lenses in them for you. Because that's how I roll. Come on 'rest of the world' - catch up! 'Cause it's rude when you refuse to help a damsel in distress.

It looks like I am going to have to wave goodbye to the idea of having prescription Gucci 2432/S sunglasses. It's a cruel, cruel world. Although... I did just drum up more than a couple hundred dollars of receipts I never thought to turn in to flex spend before. So maybe, just maybe, I could buy the glasses I want and bring them in for lenses. I want to spend it all from flex - to use up my flex. But I super-duper REALLY want those glasses.

So you don't think I'm just psycho or vain (Or is it too late? It may well be.) I will fill you in. I've been wearing a pair of 2432 Gucci sunglasses since April 2000. I know they block the mean old nasty sun. I know they are lovely. I know they fit comfortably. I have 'small features', which is some kind of optician code for 'freak face who can't wear sunglasses.' It is super difficult to find sunglasses which do not look as if they are eating my face.

Maybe we'll take some pictures today and if there is ever a "Sunglasses! Stop eating my face!" photo contest I will be able to enter.

Here they are, in all their sun-blocking glory. Mine are brown, not pink. The pink is pretty though, isn't it?

*Isn't it weird how we say "Isn't it?" when we would never say "Is not it?"

Putting The 'Flex' in Flex Spend

Is anyone else obsessed with draining a flex spend account right about now? I have decided this is as good of a time as any to try acupuncture, get great first aid kits for the house and cars, get some prescription sunglasses, and let my son get those colored contacts he has been wanting. Sadly, his contacts are not available in colors.

Here are some other uses for flex spend monies which could be interesting:

Buying canes. Maybe I can make some kind of hall tree and we could use them to hang our coats.

Incontinence bed pads. The puppy does use potty pads, after all.

Ace bandages. These can be used for bondage, or so I read.

Did you know you can get GUM and CANDY with flex spend money??? You can. It's nicotine gum and candy, but hey, GUM. and. CANDY. people!


Dr. Scholl's inserts for everyone!! We're gellin'.

Best Things I've Seen On The Internet This Week:

I just read something on a facebook info page which inspired me to thrill you with a (short) list. Here is some of the best stuff I've seen on the internet lately: (You're welcome.)

"You need someone who buys Snickers for his mother and Godiva for you."

"God carries a picture of you in his wallet."

Okay, so it's a list of two things. Savor them.

So Yeah, I Made a Key Lime Pie

My mother came over with a Key Lime pie for my husband's birthday. It was fabulous. We've had Key Lime in Key West, and hers was a solid '10'. It was tart and think and delicious. I knew she would never make another one in a couple of weeks. When we have something great it's all we can think about and within a couple of weeks we are jonesing (spell check wanted me to change 'jonesing' to 'jousting' - or indonesia- what the heck?) for it again.

As it turns out, I was out and about last Thursday when I spoke with my mother and found out she was indeed making another Key Lime Pie! Except she needed? Lime. Okay then, this is totally typical for us. I told her I would bring one on my way home. (Reason #7 why it's great to live around the corner from your mother - bringing stuff home to each other in a pinch.) I made the drop off. She made no mention of sharing the pie, but I had bought the stuff to make one myself, so I was only a little hurt.

Short story long? I made my Key Lime Pie. I started with a graham cracker crust pre-made from the store. I justified this by telling myself this way the crust was a sure thing - all I had to learn was the pie. I used the recipe from Mar-a-Lago, which was the same one mom used. I followed it exactly. I even set a timer for the whipping times.

Mine is a little more light and fluffy than mom's was. I bet she adjusted her mixer speed (lowered it) like the KitchenAid book says to do. I didn't because I expected the folks at Mar-a-Lago had a mixer at least as powerful as ours. My flavor was absolutely perfect. Next time I will do the crust myself. It looks like a no-brainer, and I have no excuse now not to do it.

Try something new and unexpected. You'll probably be glad you did.